


Relapse

by Promarvelfangirl (ProMarvelFanGirl)



Series: Girl Like Her [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Reader-Insert, plus size
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 09:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11460435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProMarvelFanGirl/pseuds/Promarvelfangirl
Summary: SEQUEL TO GIRL LIKE HER -  A Girl like her finally ended up with a guy like him.  Everything is perfect now and nothing can stop them except themselves.Warnings: topics of body size and weight issues. I tried to keep it as vague as possible so not to trigger. implied/mentions of sex.





	1. Chapter 1

You were in your and Bucky’s room, all your focus was on drawing the perfect black line across your lid.   You were concentrating so hard on not messing up, you didn’t notice Bucky coming into the room to sit on the bed.  He sat watching you with a smile while he put on his shoes. 

Hearing a small chuckle you stop and look at Bucky through the mirror.  You give him a grin and make your way to the closet door to grab your hanging party dress.  It was Wanda’s birthday and Steve was throwing her a birthday party.  He had really taken to her like a big brother ever since everyone had come back together after the unpleasantness.  

Pulling on your dress you turn to Bucky, turning so your exposed back was facing him.  Taking the hint he pulled the zipper up before placing his hands on your ample hips.   Turning to face him you give him a bright grin. 

“You ready to go?”  You ask placing your hand on his chest.  He shrugs, wrapping his arms around you to cuddle you close. 

“That wasn’t an answer silly.”  You grin enjoying the warmth of his body.   You try to pull out of his grasp but he just won’t let you. “We have to go.  We can’t be late or Steve will kill us.”

“Steve won’t kill you, he knows I love you too much.” Bucky grins leaning in for a kiss, you move your head to the side so he won’t smudge your lipstick.  Bucky’s grin turned to a pout when you dodged him. 

“Hey angel that’s no fair.  You can’t stand there lookin’ good enough to eat and not let me have a taste.”  Bucky says before planting a kiss on your round cheek.  Knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere, he releases you letting you walk to the closet to grab your shoes.

“Later” was all you replied before grabbing your purse and walking to the front door of your apartment.  Bucky followed closely behind you, his hand against your lower back leading you gently to the car. 

Now that Bucky had you, he was determined not to lose you.  Since you both had got together all those months ago,  he made it his mission to let you know how beautiful, desirable, and loved you were.   He was constantly touching you.  At first it put you on edge and didn’t know if he was just being nice or if it was all a wonderful dream.  Now it brought you comfort, when he would go on missions it made you ache waiting for just the simplest hug. 

You spent most of your time reassuring Bucky you weren’t a dream.  You made sure he knew he deserved happiness, even though in his eyes he wasn’t worthy of a dog much less you.  His nightmares you were familiar with, but since you had been together they had been non existent.  Bucky would say it was because of you, you knew it was because he was finally adapting to his easier, less controlled life. 

* * *

You arrive at the party with five minutes to spare.  Bucky gives you a grin as you get in the elevator. “We had plenty of time angel, we could have stayed in the car for a few minutes and I could have had my taste.”

“I spent a lot of time on my make up and I won’t have you messing it up because you act like a 16 year old boy.  Aren’t you like 100 anyway.”  You give him a grin moving yourself to lean on the other side of the elevator. 

He starts to walk towards you again, placing his hand on your stomach, “I’m only 99, still a young man.”

The minute his hand had hit your stomach you lost track of what he was saying, immediately you became self conscious.  Why did he put his hand there? Is he trying to block it so no one who enters the elevator will see how big it is? Maybe your dress torn?  You look down not seeing anything wrong with the seams of your dress.  

Your whole body had stiffened the minute Bucky had placed his human hand on you.  He stopped talking and focused on your face.  It was clear you had stopped listening to him.  He noticed the fear on your face and followed your gaze as it landed on his hand.   

Just as he is about to ask you what is wrong the elevator doors open to reveal the loud music and voices of the energetic party goers.   You move out of his reach, your movements stiff and full of awareness. 

He reached out with his metal arm grasping your wrist pulling you gently back into the elevator.  He pulled you close to him and pressed the close door button.  He wrapped his arms around your stiff form. 

“What happened?  What’s going on in that pretty head of yours”  He questions staring deep into your eyes, trying to read them for any signs of what had changed in the last few seconds.   He was only met with disappointment when you shot him a forced smile.

“I’m fine, nothing’s wrong.”  You give him the smile again. Knowing that he didn’t believe you for a minute.   Before he could stop you, you turned around pressing the door open button and walked out of the elevator and into the party. 

Bucky followed close behind and made sure his arm was securely around you.  He wanted everyone to know you were his and he wanted to be sure you knew he was there for you even if you weren’t ready to tell him what was happening. 

“Bucky and Y/n are here!”  You hear Steve yell to the massive crowd.   You felt your cheeks heat up with embarrassment, you could swear every set of eyes was on you both.   Bucky gave your hip a slight squeeze, and pulled you toward the bar.  He knew you would tell him what happened eventually, but for now you seemed okay. 

* * *

“Bucky, Y/n, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Catherine”  Sam announced drawing both of your attentions.   You fixed Catherine with a bright smile, while Bucky shook her hand.  She smiled back and shook your offered hand. 

“Sam told me so much about you both.  We should all get together sometime.  Have a double date maybe?”  She asked tickling Sam’s side to get him to agree.

“Sure” you smile and let out a slight laugh, it was good seeing Sam with someone other than the boys. 

The pair walked away to go mingle, you turned to Bucky, setting your glass on the bar, “I’ll be right back going to the ladies.”

Giving him a kiss on the cheek you made your way through the crowd to the restrooms.   As you were passing by Steve, Nat, Catherine and Sam, you overheard Catherine say, “So thats Y/n huh, she’s nice.  I thought she’d be prettier though.”

You felt the tears starting to form in your eyes. Is that what everyone thought?  So now it wasn’t your weight, it was the fact you weren’t pretty enough for Bucky?  

You made a beeline for the elevator pressing the call button.  You didn’t know where you were going but all you knew was you had to get out of that room and away from the crowd of people.


	2. Chapter 2

You got off the elevator on your office floor.  Letting yourself in, you laid on your plush couch.  You wiped the tears from your eyes, taking care not to smudge your make up.  You knew if Bucky saw that he would do his best to reassure you, and you didn’t need him worrying about you.

After a little bit you got up from the couch and pulled yourself together.  This night was about Wanda, you could figure out what to do with yourself later.  Catherine’s words hurt, but what hurt more, was none of your friends immediately came to your aid.  They were your friends, weren’t they?  Little did you know it wasn’t what you thought. 

After Catherine had ended her statement, everyone had looked at her in shock.  After realizing her statement was met with silence, she looked up to find Steve and Nat’s shocked faces, then turning to look at Sam with a questioning look.

“What? What did I say?”  She asked genuinely confused.   Sam shot a look at Steve, he had crossed his arms over his broad chest, chancing a glance at Nat, Sam saw her livid face.   Natasha rarely showed her emotions, but after what happened with Y/n all those months ago, she felt the need to protect her. 

“Why would you say that about Y/n?”  Sam asked Catherine calmly, he really liked her and she was a great person he had no idea where this was coming from. 

Catherine looked at Sam with confusion, “I just meant the way you all talk about her, how amazing you all find her, the picture in my head was different from what she looks like.”

You left your office getting into the elevator to go back to the party.   Checking your face in the shiny wall of the elevator you were relieved none of your make up was out of place.  The elevator arrived way too soon for your liking and you walked back into the hall where you could see the chaos of the party.  

As you scanned the bar for Bucky, you saw that he was not where you had left him.  He was standing with Steve, Sam, and Catherine.   You watched as Catherine turned toward Bucky with a soft smile, while her arm was around Sam’s waist.  She was the picture of perfection.  Everything you weren’t.  You knew you couldn’t stand in the doorway forever, especially since you had just locked eyes with Steve. 

* * *

By this time Bucky had made his way over to the small group.  It had been about 15 minutes and Y/n hadn’t returned.  He wasn’t worried though, he figured that you had found Wanda or Nat and were talking their ears off.  He was shocked when he walked up behind Sam and Catherine, hearing the tail end of the conversation.

“Who looks like what?”  Bucky asked causing Sam and Catherine to turn around.  Catherine’s eyes grew wide. 

“No one, we weren’t talking about anyone important.”  Steve was hauling away Nat after that statement had left Catherine’s lips.   Steve knew good and well Nat would kill her and would apologize to Sam later.  

Bucky looked at Sam and Catherine in confusion, “Have you seen Y/n?  She went to the restroom a while ago and she hasn’t come back.”

“I can go check on her if you want Bucky” Catherine offered kindly.  By this time Steve had returned from taking Nat outside on the balcony for her to cool off. 

“I don’t think that will be necessary. She just got out of the elevator.”  Steve nodded towards your form that was walking reluctantly towards them.

* * *

When you reached them you turned towards Bucky effectively turning your back to the other three.  Placing your hand on his broad chest, you spoke softly, “We better go say hi to Wanda, it is her birthday.”

After Bucky excused you both from the trio, you went in search of Wanda.  Bucky’s hand never left yours as he pulled you through the throng of people.  Finding Wanda sitting on one of the many couches with Clint.  You pulled her up giving her a big hug and wishing her happy birthday.  While Bucky was offering her his congratulations, something caught your eye outside on the balcony.   Stepping away quietly from the group you made your way to the balcony where Nat was pacing. 

“I’m gonna kill her, he can find another girl to date.”  Natasha mumbled angrily to herself.   Turning to pace in your direction she looked up.   

You gave her a small smile and sat down on the bench that was pushed against the wall.  Resting yourself on the brick of the building, you asked Nat, “Who are you killing?”

“I don’t like that Catherine girl.”  She snarled the other girls name viciously.  

“Oh. I don’t know that I am that fond of her either, but then again I don’t know her.”  You look down at your feet clicking your heels together slightly, you mumble, “I don’t even know my friends.”

“Isn’t she the worst?!”  Nat asked plopping herself next to you. “What do you mean you don’t know your friends.  Did one of the guys say something to you?”

“No actually that’s the problem, no one said anything.  I know I am not a supermodel.  I know I don’t have a beautiful body like Wanda’s, I know that I don’t have the striking features like you.  I realize that I don’t have Sharon’s personality.   But I thought the thing that I could have up on people was loyal friends.”  You stand ignoring the shocked face of Natasha and make your way to the big glass door leading back to the living area. 

Not turning to face her or waiting for Natasha to speak, you kept your voice even, “I heard what Catherine said.  It hurt I’ll admit it. I also heard the silence that confirmed what she had said.”

* * *

Walking back into the party you made your way once again to Wanda and Bucky. Hugging Wanda again tightly, you tell her you aren’t feeling well, gaining a concerned look from Bucky.  A look you normally welcomed, you now mentally scoffed at.   

Wrapping his arm around you, he led you once more to the elevator, just as the doors were closing you saw Steve with Natasha.  His super soldier eyes quickly scanned the crowd.  The doors were about shut when he finally realized you were in the elevator.   The doors closed and removed him from your view.

The elevator ride and drive home were made in silence.   Bucky sensing you didn’t want to talk held your hand, not even letting go to drive.  He would squeeze your hand every few moments, just to let you know he was still there.

* * *

When you arrived back at your house you immediately made a beeline for the bathroom.  Shutting and locking the door, you turned toward the mirror and began wiping off your makeup.  You couldn’t believe you wasted so much time putting it on.  What was the point.   Hearing Bucky knock on the door you let out a soft sigh.  You knew you couldn’t avoid him much longer.  

You look at yourself in the mirror again.  Your face was red from scrubbing the makeup off, making the slight freckles on your face stand out.   You squint hatefully at the zit that was starting to form on your chin.  

“Y/n, Angel you okay?  Are you still feeling sick?”  Bucky’s deep concerned voice penetrated the silence of the bathroom.

You open the door to come face to face with Bucky.  “I just need a hug and sleep.”

Bucky wrapped his arms around you pulling you in as tightly as he could without hurting you. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”  You answer in a monotone voice.  Making your way to your bed you pull the covers back sliding between them not bothering to take off your dress.   You moved to your side facing away from Bucky’s side of the bed. 

Bucky followed behind you and pulled back the covers on his side, pushing off his pants and removing his shirt he slid in beside you.  Facing toward your back he reached out to stroke your now messed hair.  “How did I get so lucky, you’re so beautiful.”

Refusing to turn and face him, you didn’t want to have Bucky save you from yourself yet again.  You let out a sigh willing yourself not to cry, you felt Bucky’s human arm move to stroke your back.  Knowing he wouldn’t stop till he had a reply, you responded in a monotone voice, “Am I?”


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a week since Wanda’s birthday party.  Bucky had left three days ago on a mission,  he had immediately sensed your change in attitude, he tried for three days to get you to open up but you wouldn’t budge.  He eventually resigned himself to hoping that you would tell him when he got back.   After telling him you loved him and giving him a kiss, you sent him on his way.

Natasha had tried countless times during the week to get you to talk to her.  You were giving her an icy chill and you weren’t ready to warm up to her just yet.   Four days after Bucky had left Steve knocked on your apartment door.  You hadn’t left nor did you intend to leave your apartment till Bucky had returned. 

Opening your door after checking the peephole, you let Steve into your apartment. Steve walked in making himself at home like he always did.  After hanging up his coat he set himself on your couch and patted the seat beside him.   You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.  He much like yourself was a fixer.  He was going to fix what was wrong because he was Captain America, he could fix anything. 

After sitting down next to him with your arms crossed you turn to face him.  You had a feeling this was coming.  Steve looked at you with fond smile.   He had got over 10 texts from Bucky to make sure that you were okay and to look after you while he was gone. 

Steve tossed you his phone and laughed, “Your boyfriend is very concerned about you.  I am under strict orders from the Sergeant to figure out what’s going on and to cheer you up.  So he still has no idea?”

You let out a sigh and shake your head. Handing Steve back his phone, you lean back on the couch. “He and Sam are finally getting along. I don’t want to be the reason that they start fighting constantly again.”

“What about Nat?  She said you didn’t give her time to explain. You know that we all were upset with her for saying that right?  You are gorgeous, Bucky never lets us forget that.”  Steve says scooting towards you and gently putting his arm around your shoulder. 

You nod your head, you knew you were acting ridiculous, “Growing up I never had anyone except Bucky.  I have the other Avengers now and they are great friends, Bucky is family though.  You are with Bucky and that makes you like a sister to me.  Just know when Buck leaves on a mission, I will be here protecting you.  Catherine is…well….a bitch, and trust me when I say she won’t be saying anything like that to you again.”

Your eyes grew as Steve spoke and you cuddled into his embrace, “Thank you Steve, I mean it.   Nat didn’t kill her did she?”   

Steve couldn’t help but laugh, “No she didn’t, I managed to calm her down before she could.  Come on, let’s go to the tower and have dinner with the family.”

Steve pulled you up, pushed you to get your things.   You knew Steve was right, you were being ridiculous.  Your friends would never let anyone hurt you.  You overreacted.   

* * *

When you arrived at the tower Nat was placing the last bit of food on the table.   She froze when she saw you standing next to Steve.   You gave her a friendly smile, and simply said, “Sorry.”

This was all she needed to run towards you wrapping you in a hug.  Nothing else was said and you both took your places beside each other at the table.  You were about to start eating when the elevator signalled someone had arrived.   

“What did we miss?  Y/n!  You’re back!”  Sam greeted you with a smile his arm around Catherine, who was wearing a smile as big as Sam’s.

After the two were seated at the table, Catherine beside you because, she “wants to get to know you better”, you all began to eat.  Everyone was in their own conversations, Natasha’s sole focus was Catherine, she wasn’t going to let her get away with being mean to you again. 

To your surprise Catherine was being very kind to you.  She asked you about your and Bucky’s relationship and squealed when she heard your story.  You were actually having a great time.  So much so that even Natasha had relaxed and had turned to talk to Steve. 

“So Y/n can I ask you something?  You seem to be eating all the right things, have you been to the doctor?  You could have a thyroid issue.”  Catherine asked with a concerned look on her face. 

You froze, your hand holding your fork with a bit of your caesar salad on it, gently lowered to your plate.  You wiped your mouth, and turned to Catherine. “Nope not a health problem, I’m just fat, just like I am not that pretty.”

You shake your head in disbelief and excuse yourself from the table.  Walking out to the balcony you turn to face the sky line.  You didn’t cry this time.  You didn’t run.  You just needed a timeout.  Part of you wished Bucky was here.  You knew he would reassure you and tell you he loved you.  You couldn’t rely on Bucky to save you all the time though.  It wasn’t fair to him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Natasha turned to say something to you and was greeted with an empty chair.   Turning to look at Catherine, she fixed her with an intense gaze, “What did you say to her?”

Everyone had heard Natasha and stopped talking to see what was going to happen. “I just asked about her health.  She was actually quite rude to me.”

Before Natasha could pounce, Sam stood urging Catherine to stand as well. “We are going sorry guys.”  

Sam took Catherine’s hand and ushered her quickly out the room, the last thing they heard Catherine say was, “That Natasha has anger issues, I think she likes you Sam.”

Natasha saw you out on the balcony and made her way to you.  “Are you alright?  Sam took that hell demon home.”

You let out a laugh, “Hell demon?  I am fine.  It is nothing I haven’t heard before, I will probably hear it again.  I need to get over it.”

“We all care about you we just don’t want you hurt.  Steve told me Bucky still doesn’t know any of this happened.  Are you going to tell him?”  She asked leaning on the railing beside you.

You brush the hair out of your eyes and turned towards Nat, before you answer her though, you are interrupted.  “She doesn’t have to, I am going to tell him.”

Both of you turned abruptly to face the door where the voice came from.  Sam stood in the doorway, Catherine-less.  He walked slowly towards you and wrapped you in a hug. 

“I am so sorry.  I’m gonna tell him what happened.  I’m going to apologize to him.   I should have broken up with her sooner.”  He said finally releasing you. 

“I’m sorry you are single again.”  You smile at him.  He gives you a heart melting grin in response. 

“I’ll be alright, you just have to set me up with someone like you.”  Sam says with a laugh.

The three of you walk back into the tower laughing, ignoring the looks on the others faces and finish your meal.

* * *

You decide to stay at the tower to have some company,  Bucky would be home tomorrow but you didn’t want to be alone again.  Forcing Steve to binge watch Gilmore girls with you, you eventually fell asleep on the couch your feet resting in Steve’s lap. 

Bucky arrived at the tower from his mission dirty and tired at 5 a.m.  He walked into the living room of the tower planning on grabbing something to drink, getting cleaned up and crashing.  He didn’t want to wake you so he would just stay at the tower for the night. 

Walking in he saw you and Steve.  It made his heart swell with joy.  Here was his best friend, the man he spent his childhood protecting, protecting the love of his life.  Steve’s head rested on his hand, being supported by the arm of the couch.  His other hand placed across your ankles reassuring you he was there. You laid on your side, hair out of your face showing your calm expression to the world.  

Steve’s super soldier hearing heard Bucky and he cracked open his eyes, carefully removing your feet, he stood and stretched.  He made his way toward the kitchen, motioning Bucky to follow.   When they were out of earshot, Steve shot bucky a grin.

“How was it?”  He asked preparing to make them both a cup of coffee. 

“The mission was fine.   Nothing crazy.  How is she doin? She okay?”  Bucky asked watching Steve move about the kitchen with tired eyes. 

“She’s fine.  We talked I figured out what was bugging her.  She is back to the Y/n we know and love.”  Steve grinned at Bucky. 

Bucky frowned, “Well what did she say when ya talked to her?”

“I can’t tell ya Buck, she told me not to.”  Steve replied simply turning to face Bucky having turned on the coffee pot. 

“But..But I’m her boyfriend.”  He says frustrated, “You have to tell me.”

“No I don’t” Steve scoffs, before he knows it however, Bucky lunges at Steve, throwing his metal arm around Steve’s neck he places him in a headlock. Steve lets out a yelp and tries to free himself.

“Tell me or I will tell Sam about that dream you had”  Bucky says rubbing his human fist across the top of Steve’s head.

Steve’s face turns an impossible shade of red before he huffs, moving his arm to Bucky’s side where he begins to pinch him.  “If you do I will tell Y/n bout the time you almost kissed her when she was sleeping on the couch the day you met!”

Bucky lets out a huge gasp of indignance and the two super soldiers begin to wrestle on the floor. 

You walk into the room and take in the sight before you.  It was way too early for this. “What the actual FUCK are you two doing?!”


	4. Chapter 4

You stood in front of the two, both men scrabbled to get up off the tiled floor of the kitchen.  They pointed at each other both looking guilty, before saying in unison, “He started it!”

“What the hell is this about?”  You ask putting your hands on your wide hips. You couldn’t believe they were fighting like children.  You walk closer to the both of them and met Steve’s eyes and then Bucky’s.  You purse your lips and give both men a hard stare. 

“Well…I…I mean Steve…I mean..I just wanted to know what you talked about and he won’t tell me.  I am your boyfriend I deserve to know.”  Bucky said whining.   He wraps his arms around you and kisses your temple. 

“I wouldn’t betray your trust like that Y/n”  Steve said sticking his chest out giving Bucky a disapproving glare.  You pull away from Bucky deciding enough was enough.  You were going to tell him.  You couldn’t wait for Sam any longer.   

Just as you were opening mouth to tell Bucky what had happened, Sam walked in rubbing the sleep out of his face.  Sam made his way to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup.  Finally you saw the muscles in his back tense up, he had noticed the presence of the three of you.  Sam turned and faced you.  Seeing Bucky, you saw his smile falter only for a moment.   You knew the time had come.  Sam would tell Bucky. 

Steve knowing what was going to transpire, wrapped an arm around your shoulders and led you into the living room.  Bucky with a confused expression, was about to follow when Sam stopped him. 

“Hey man, we need to talk about what’s been going on with Y/n .”  Bucky turned to face Sam even more confused.  He motioned for Sam to continue. 

Sam picked up his mug and poured some more coffee in Bucky’s abandoned cup.  After handing Bucky his cup he took a deep breath and began, “The night of Wanda’s party Catherine had said some things about Y/n’s appearance.  Y/n overheard and was rightly upset.  She wasn’t as upset at Catherine as she was with the rest of us for not saying anything to deny it.”

Bucky gripped his mug tightly, glad that it was his right hand instead of his left.  If not it would have been shattered. Bucky couldn’t believe his friends, he looked at Sam fuming, “Why didn’t you?!”

“We did! She didn’t hear us and had walked away, Y/n confronted Nat and all I know is she wouldn’t listen to her at the time but everything is fine now.   Full disclosure, Catherine made comments last night about Y/n’s eating habits and Nat’s anger.  Y/n is okay and she is fine now.”  Sam looked at the mug in his hand, he felt horrible.

“I don’t want Catherine anywhere near Y/n.  I don’t understand why she didn’t just tell me.”  Bucky put his once again untouched coffee down on the counter and made to leave the kitchen.  

“I don’t know why she didn’t tell you, I can guarantee that Catherine won’t be seen around here ever again.  I dumped her last night, no one talks to my friends like that.”  Sam gave Bucky an apologetic smile which Bucky returned with a grateful one of his own. 

Leaving the room Bucky headed straight over to where you were sitting beside Steve on the couch.  Not sparing Steve a glance,  he grabbed your hand and pulled you up and into his arms.  Leading you to the guest room you usually shared he shut the door behind him.  

You went to the bed and sat cross legged.   Bucky came over and flopped faced down beside you.   You shuffled back so that your back rested on the headboard.  Running your fingers through Bucky’s hair you let out a sigh. 

“What’s the matter sarge?”  You ask your hands never leaving his hair.  Bucky turned his head to face you.  His blue eyes took you in and studied your face. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about Catherine?”  Was all he asked. You removed your hand from his hair and moved to position your body next to his.  You reached up to gently rub his stubbled jaw. 

“I didn’t want you to have to save me from myself yet again.  I need to be stronger.  I won’t always have you around to protect me.  Before you say it I know you don’t mind saving me.  I just don’t want you to.  All I want you to do is love me.   That alone is all I need.”  Bucky grabs your hand from where it is cupping his face and kisses each of your finger tips.   

He turns on his side and wraps his metal arm around your waist and pulls you to him.  Kissing your lips gently he lets out a soft sigh. “You may not need me to save you, but you save me all the time.”

He can’t help but laugh at your confused expression, “I- my nightmares have been coming back the last month or so.  Every time I go on a mission the first few nights I am home are pure torture.”

You let out a gasp, “Why haven’t you woke me Buck?  I am so sorry.  I am so selfish worrying about myself when you needed me!  I am so sor-”

Bucky placed his finger on your lips to stop your rambling, “Shhh Angel it is fine.  The best thing you can do for me you already do. I am glad you sleep through my nightmares.  The last thing I want is you losing any sleep or being upset because of me.   All I need you to do is greet me with that beautiful smile every morning and I know the next night I will sleep peacefully.   Your smile is the best cure for a nightmare.”

You can’t help the tears that fall at Bucky’s confession.   You press your lips toward his needing to let him know how much you truly loved him.  In that moment you knew this was it for you.  You knew you would never love anyone the way you loved him.  You knew this was the man you were destined to be with.  The man who was just as damaged as you if not more by the demons in his mind.   You were each other’s cure.  You were each other’s safety.  

* * *

One Month Later

You and Bucky had been doing well since everything had happened.   You had taken to spending the last day or two of the missions Bucky went on at the tower.  You felt better knowing you would be there no matter what time he arrived.   This past mission he had been gone for a week with Steve.  

You had spent most of your day in your office only coming out briefly to have lunch.   You were busy typing an expense report from Nat and Clint’s last mission.  Did Clint really order 10 pizzas?  What is wrong with that man. 

Your thoughts were interrupted when Natasha’s slender form made your way into the office.  She perched herself elegantly on the brown leather guest chair across from you. 

“I know something you don’t know.”  She taunts at you with a smile.   You finish typing a final thought and lean back in your chair. 

“Nat you know tons of things I don’t know.  This is nothing new.”  you sigh but find yourself intrigued to know what she knows.  You wave your hand at her to continue. 

“Word in the tower is Sam Wilson has been secretly dating a young lady.  I am told she is pretty and very nice.”  She gives you a playful grin.  You can’t help but smile back at the red head whose eyes have been filled with mischief. 

“Well good.  Sam deserves a nice, pretty girl.  He is smart and funny.  Not to mention he is good looking.  Any girl would be lucky to have him.”  You say shuffling the papers on your desk into neat piles.

“Who’s good lookin’?  You thinkin’ of leavin’ me angel?” Bucky stood in your doorway arms crossed with a small smirk on his face.   He had made his way to your door and heard the last part of your statement. 

You couldn’t help the squeal of excitement that left you.  You jump up and Bucky meets you in the middle of your office.  He wraps his arms around your shoulders pulling you to him and kissing the top of your head.  You both stand there holding each other swaying slightly.  Natasha takes that as her cue to leave. 

You attempt to pull away slightly, but he held you tightly to him. Finally he sighed and pulled away ever so slightly to look you in the eyes, “So who’s good lookin’?”

You can’t help but laugh at his narrowed eyes, “Sam is, before you get mad I would never leave you.  Word in the tower is Mr. Wilson has him a new dame as you and Steve would say.”

Bucky lets out a bark of laughter. You can tell Bucky is already trying to figure out how he is going to tease Sam.  Your phone breaks your concentration on Bucky, and you remove yourself from Bucky’s arms and sit in your chair.  Picking up the phone with a large smile and saying hello you try to focus on what the other person is saying. The call was from Steve who wanted Bucky in one of the conferences rooms. 

* * *

The next day you and Bucky woke in the guest room of the tower in each other’s arms.  You stretched arching your back.  Bucky laid on his side watching you.   He couldn’t help but smile.  He loved looking at your wide back as it moved as you stretched.  He pulled you in close to him and stuck his muscular leg between your large thighs.

“Let’s just stay in bed.” He groans shoving his head in your neck. You wiggle a bit trying to get him to release you.  Finally you succeed and make your way to the bathroom to get changed.  

After finally prying Buck out of bed and getting him dressed you went to the kitchen to make some breakfast.  Eventually Steve joined you, handing him a plate and filling it for him, you all sat in a comfortable silence to eat. 

The silence was broken by giggles coming from an unrecognizable voice. Sam walked in, sweatpants hanging on his hips with nothing covering his muscular chest.   Pulling with him was a beautiful woman wearing Sam’s missing shirt.  The girl let out a nervous burst of giggles, while Sam did nothing to hide his grin.  You smile and wave at the girl. You knew this had to be awkward for her.  Steve and Bucky tried unsuccessfully to hide their grins at Sam.   

You beckoned the girl over grabbing her a plate and filling it.  You wanted to make her comfortable and welcomed.   While you and  _Stephanie_  were chatting the boys made their way into the living room. 

Sam, Steve, and Bucky sat on the couch putting on the tv.  Bucky turns and looks at Sam, he smirks as he notices how intently that Sam is staring at Stephanie who was speaking to you with an excited expression.   Bucky snaps his fingers in front of Sam’s faces breaking his concentration. 

“I have been seeing her for a month.  I get it now. I get how you feel about Y/n.  She is just…I can’t imagine my life without her in it now.”  Sam sighs bracing himself for the laughter and teasing, but it doesn’t come.

“I bought a ring.  For Y/n. I am going to propose.” Bucky stares at you while ignoring the shocked but happy faces of his two best friends. 

“I’m happy for ya pal. You’re ready and you couldn’t have picked a better girl.”  Steve clapped a large hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

Sam lets out a laugh and looking over at Stephanie once more he smiles, “I’m gonna need a plus one to the wedding.”

* * *

Later in the day you were in your office once again filling out paperwork and making hotel reservations for Natasha and Steve’s next missions.   You hear some movement outside of your door which breaks your concentration.  

Looking over at the door you notice a white sheet of paper that was folded in half, sticking halfway out from under the door.   You make your way over to the door and pick up the piece of paper.  Opening the paper you notice Bucky’s handwriting immediately:

_Y/n,  
_ _I’ll love you forever Angel.  
_ _Will you marry me?  
_ _Bucky_

You bite your lip and try to conceal your grin.  Thinking back to all those months ago when you shoved a note of your own telling Bucky to be safe on his mission while you questioned all of your feelings.   You were so happy he didn’t give up on you, and thankful that he saw the beauty in you even when you didn’t. 

Walking over to your desk you grab a pen out of the small jar you kept full on your desk and bite your lip.  This one little word you were about to write, was about to change everything.


End file.
